Not on the Carpet

askthesassyangelcastiel:

sherlocksdemonhuntingtimelord:

hepickedtherighttie:

napkindicks:

ship-all-the-gay:

so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them.

they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly

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I think the factory workers need help

I think they want us to pick up where they left off

dad went to the factory…he hasnt been home in a few days

why do we always end up here

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wordsofdiana:

The only thing I want in Avengers 2 is Cap picking up Thor’s hammer, totally unaware it should be impossible.

parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
clock: 11:01
me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

tsundereslasher:

E.T., what about E.T.?

That moment when Jeremy realises he’s in his 40’s.

flynnabob:

Just look at how his boobs jiggle

flynnabob:

Just look at how his boobs jiggle

High school systems: You have the responsibility to figure out what to do for the rest of your life at your age. You are a young adult.
High School systems: We can't let you buy soda and have food that contains sugar in your lunch. We can't let a child like you to consume those unhealthy things. We don't think you have responsibility to keep track of what you are eating so we do it for you.

nurmengardx:

nerdjpg:

northgang:

…the future of pizza (X)

none pizza left beef

midget-banana:

hijackspace:

thehttydblog:

modern-hiccup:

Me and my sibling can go from

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to

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in like three seconds 

#MY LIFE

on a scale from disney to dreamworks what’s your sibling relationship

MARVEL

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octobra:

if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off I will do the same thing to ur head

idunwin:

melanoleuca:

Remember when there was a 7 mile spanking machine on spongebob and no one said anything about it ever

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image bring me the booty